Allan is a golden retriever. Scratch him behind the ears and he wags his tail. His temperature rides about one degree above a human’s normal body temperature, and he never wears a shirt. If you want his eternal love and loyalty, feed him. Even better, take him to the beach and throw a frisbee for him to chase. When he’s all tuckered out, let him nap. Deep within him stir the instincts of a solitary wolf, but he adores people too much to wander off into the woods forever. Allan is grateful for the old adage that on the internet, nobody knows you’re a dog.